A true story inspired by real events. Seriously.
- Startup Times Hotline where trying is the first step to failure. How may I help you?
- I am an enterprise application developer, working for an enterprise business aiming to urgently improve the state of our enterprise…and maybe yours. Not sure. I’ll have to check with the enterprise.
- What is this inquiry about?
- I have excellent news. After many many months of trial and error and an unbelievable demonstration of human perseverance, we have managed to urgently reduce the start-up time of our enterprise application significantly. Isn’t this the sort of thing your institution writes articles about?
- Absolutely! How significant of a significance are we talking about here?
- The startup-time of the old version was around
35seconds, and now through hulkish feats of solid engineering, we are looking at a startup-time of about
- I am not sure I appreciate your tone here.
5seconds is a looooong time. If you were on your deathbed, wouldn’t you want to have
5seconds more with your loved ones? Of course you would! Note that we used to restart the application almost on a daily basis. This is a life savings of almost one minute a week.
- Uh…OK…which means?
- Exactly. It means after a couple of hundred years, this effort would start to save lives and reunite families. Do you now understand the significance of this improvement?
- Sure, very impressive. Would you like to come in for a …?
- Sorry. Hold on one second…I am getting a text from my enterprise architect…Oh…wait…I am being told we would be retiring the application in the very near future and we are being acquired by an enterprise solution.
- Sorry to hear that. I hope the adoption and transition process goes smoothly?
- Yeah, but usually these things take a long time.
5seconds long or…? Hello? Hello?!